Blogs > From The Bleacher Seats

A roundup of news on sporting events, people and places in Southeast Michigan by columnist Jim Evans.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

These Tigers can't catch a cold, the flu or a baseball

I’m usually a pretty patient guy.
If I’m stuck in a traffic jam with temperatures in the 90s and cars so close I can tell if the driver in the car in front of me had onions on his coney, I just turn on the radio and sing Kumbaya.
If I am in a restaurant and pretty much everybody else has been served including the caravan of Bedouins who arrived 45 minutes after me, I just shrug and ask for more water and maybe some Saltines.
But do you know what? I am getting extremely impatient with the Detroit Tigers.
They cannot seem to make the most fundamental plays. They couldn’t move a runner from first to second base with a forklift.
On the rare occasions when they attempt to bunt, most of them look like Steve Urkel break dancing. They jerk. They squirm.  They fail miserably.
But worst of all is their miserable fielding.
Did anyone else have the unfortunate circumstance to watch shortstop Jhonny Peralta in the eighth inning at Wrigley Field Tuesday night? He made a couple of the worst throws this side of a Bad News Bears remake. The first, he short-armed an easy toss to second base.
The runner was safe.
On the second, he neglected to even bother to set his feet after fielding a simple ground ball, and his errant throw ripped Prince Fielder’s foot off the bag.
The runner was safe.
The Cubs scored the winning run in that inning.
Can you imagine pitching for the Tigers? You can’t even let the opposing team put the ball in play for fear it is going to be pinballed all over the field.
Peralta is hardly the only culprit. Fielder is no Golden Glove winner himself. If anything, he’ll get the Steel Glove because of how often the ball seems to clank off his mitt.
If I have to watch Delmon Young misplay another ball in leftfield, I’m going to have to go in for an ink blot test and blurt out that every smudge looks like an error.
I can handle the stranded base runners. I can handle the occasional bad outings by the pitchers. What I can’t take is a team that fields as atrociously as the Tigers. There is no excuse for it, not at the major league level.
Give me a traffic jam. Give me lousy service at a restaurant. Just don’t give me these Tigers. I am losing my patience.


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