They are called roundabouts.

To me, they are blankety blanking roundabouts.

Nothing personal against these traffic circles, mind you.

In fact, I met a very nice woman in a roundabout in Rochester Hills a month or so ago.

Literally.

She was headed northbound on Livernois and I had been southbound on Livernois before entering the roundabout. I was just exiting onto eastbound Hamlin when we met.

Translated: The right side of her fender met my right rear quarter panel.

“I really couldn’t tell you what happened,” she said apologetically a moment later.

She was a little befuddled and who can blame her? Roundabouts, which are fairly new to the Detroit area, are full of befuddlement.

Nobody seems to either know or care how to deal with them. Mostly, people go flying right into them like a bunch of NASCAR interns. They obviously figure the right of way is a divine right in America much like voting, over-eating on Thanksgiving Day and about 364 other days of the year or watching reality television featuring housewives with all the loveable characteristics of pit bulls (that analogy comes with apologies to pit bulls everywhere).

So here is Roundabout 101: When approaching the traffic circle, everyone yields. Only after looking to your left and making sure there is no oncoming traffic do you proceed. How difficult is that?

Like I said, I met a very nice woman in a roundabout a month or so ago. She was in a Cadillac. I was in a subcompact. Guess whose car got the worst of it?

Yep, and I had just taken the collision off my insurance since my car is a 1997 and I’d been paying more in premiums than the car is worth.

So, for what it is worth, these roundabouts are a pain in my …fender.