Five hundred million dollars.
That’s what the Mega Millions tally was at today.
By the time the numbers are drawn Friday, that total will be even larger.
I know I will buy a few tickets. That is if I can scrape together enough change.
So what’s the plan? What would you do with the money?
Me, I’d trade in my old, tired subcompact car that has so many miles on the odometer its tongue lolls out through the grill any time I have the audacity to travel over 65 mph.
It has been years since I could adjust the driver’s seat. It has been nearly as long since I was able to roll down the driver’s side window. The glove box locked permanently long ago, forcing me to take a crowbar to it. Now it’s literally a box; a shoe box crammed full of things like the car title, proof of insurance, pens, notebooks and CDs of bands like The Stooges, The Rumpshakers and Hank Williams Jr.
The car body is a Joan Rivers model without visits to the plastic surgeon. There are dents and dings; scratches and scrapes. There is a big divot in the rear quarter panel where a woman ran smack dab into me less than a week after I’d taken the collision insurance off.
So I would get a new car; probably a Ford Fiesta or a Chevy Cruze. I’d buy my mom a new car, too. Her Chevy Impala is so old it has arthritis and liver spots.
I’d renovate the kitchen like my wife, Kim, has wanted to do for years. I would put a sunroom on the back of the house.
I’d also give money to a few good deserving causes like cancer research and animal rights organizations. I would love to improve the library at the school my kids attended years ago.
Mostly, I’d like to exhale. No more living paycheck-to-paycheck. Kim could retire. Me, I would keep working. Otherwise, I can see myself getting fat and lazy and semi-comatose on the couch day after day.
Good luck with the Mega Millions drawing Friday. How about picking up the tab for once?